Those who follow this blog, forgive me for the long delay. Before I went on vacation with my family the end of October, I got COIVD and had joint issues as a result of not moving for four days. I worked long hours before vacation, packed for the family, prepped the house, and got a sitter for our cats. Then a much needed vacation was taken. However, I came back from vacation with a bad head cold and had to call off the only day I was working the week I returned.

I am not wring this to get sympathy or make an excuse (even though my mind kept giving me excuses not to write), but as a post telling what I think the Creator has been trying to tell me about myself. You are not inferior because your pace of life doesn’t fit the full time work hard and play hard culture around us. I have never been one to follow the ways of the people around me. After finishing school, teaching over-seas, and thus, returning to the US, I had a mini life-crisis. For the first time in my life, a plan wasn’t laid out for me. I knew exactly what I would do after graduating college and hadn’t planned anything after my two year TESL contract ended. I tried to go back to school for Library Science, but had to drop out because of migraines. Instead of a part-time job and school, I went into the work force full-time. The company I worked for was very physically and emotionally demanding. It exacerbated health conditions and brought out dormant health issues I didn’t realize I had previously. I went on to another full-time job and again my body felt like it was in constant fighting mode: migraines, depression, exhaustion. Migraines have slowed me down most of my life. Normal things that seem easy to be a “typical” task for any person are ten times as hard for me; sometimes I need to think and try twice as hard to complete the most mundane tasks.

So in light of all this round-about detail, my point is to say:

You are not inferior because your pace of life doesn’t fit the full time work hard and play hard culture around us.

It is okay and right to strive to find the balance of how you live out your life. It can be more difficult to against the status quo, but if you try to find your rhythm, as I am trying to do, you will find more fulfillment. It is something I am learning and want to keep learning, until I feel like I have a small amount of control amidst the mystery and lack of control that truly governs the world. Living a slower pace may be your circadian rhythm and not someone else’s. But you are you, and not someone else.